While pregnant with Casper, I went through something similar. Around 11 weeks, I have some weird bleeding. So I went into the ER because it was a Saturday and I was just overwhelmed. Everything turned out fine. They couldn't really tell why I was bleeding, but the baby seemed fine. Strong heartbeat.
Well, if you've ever had a miscarriage, and had to deal with blood pouring out of your body like a waterfall, you understand the fear of blood. Any blood.
So anyway, I emailed into my doctor's office and let them know what was going on. I mentioned that I was taking the aspirin because my OB said in case of any bleeding problems, even though I didn't really have anything like that with Casper.
Well, the nurse called back and asked me a bunch of questions. About cramping, and what color was the blood. She said that she wanted to see about getting me in for an ultrasound today instead of waiting for Wednesday. Won't hear me complain! So I called my stepmom about watching Wynter, since I couldn't handle having to control her. The clinic called back in less than a minute it seemed, and told me they had me in at 2:15. She told me about the water, 32 ounces in 15 minutes, an hour before my appointment. I called my husband at work and told him what was going on, and he said he would try and get the second half of the day off. So I called my mom back again and told her, and she said she could take care of Wynter, not to worry about Jay getting off. I said I was pretty sure he wanted to be there.... He got the afternoon off and came home.
The drinking of the water made me feel like I was drowning. I literally felt like I was going to throw up. The car ride was agony! We got there, checked in, and waiting for what seemed like forever. (Everything seems like forever when you have to pee and can't.) There was an adorable little boy in the waiting room, Wynter was scared of him because he wanted her toy, and I was trying really hard not to burst into tears.
Finally, they called me back and got me up on the table. She explained a little bit about what the plan was, and said that I wasn't going to get any results from her. She got the transducer thing out and ready, and right away I could see a big dark oval, and inside of that a bubble. I knew that was my baby. She measured and moved and looked and measured and clicked. Then we took a closer look at the bubble, and I was straining my eyes to see any kind of movement.
No such luck. She got me up and told me to go pee. The next part was the internal ultrasound. This was what I wanted to see!
Well, we saw movement. She said I needed to be absolutely still so she could try and record the heart beat. I said, "So there IS a heart beat?" My heart dropped to the floor when she said, "Only if I can get a recording." But I needn't have worried - she got 2 really great recording. She even printed off some pictures. She cleaned me up, told me she would go show the radiologist and then they had to call my doctor's office. She wanted me to stay, just in case the radiologist wanted anything else.
About 5 minutes later, she came back and said the radiologist sent me packing! She said I would still get a call from the doctor's office, and told me to have a nice day.
The clinic called about half way home. She said everything really looked fine. She said she had nothing else to offer, no explanation but she didn't think there was anything to worry about. She confirmed my appointment with my OB doctor, and actually changed it so I was seeing the OB and not the PA.
So I started the day thinking the worst. But in the end, it looks like everything is fine right now and I got to see my little bubble.
As I posted on Facebook, even though it's only been 6 weeks, I'm hopelessly in love with this little one. I need this baby, to hold onto my sanity. I can't handle another loss, despite it being early like my husband said (men are clueless, really). Those who me know me know that I don't believe in God or any other religious being. I don't believe in a higher power. I believe in nature and science. I can't pray for good things to happen, I can only hope. I can beg the power of the universe, but I know it's just words in the air.
However, I know I have some people praying for me, and I'll take it. I know I have special friends who are hoping with me, and sending me strength and positive vibes to get through this. I will take anything I can get, anything that anyone is willing to give.
I love my baby bubble, and can't wait for the journey we'll share.
Hi baby bubble!!!! Thank you for making your Mom smile <3
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